Why is it things always look better after you lose them?
What is it about humans that makes us want what we don't have and not appreciate what we do have until we no longer have it?
I have lived in my current apartment for just shy of two years and have had multiple complaints about it; my upstairs neighbor is noisy, it gets incredibly damp in the humid summer (basement apartment), there's not enough light, various bugs and ants visit me and the forced air heat is annoying (too hot, followed by too cold). Trivial complaints really, but complaints none the less. What I have failed at recognizing is all the benefits that come with this place. There's a fenced-in ball field across the street where many people bring their dogs, hence I've met a lot of my neighbors. There's free parking and a small backyard. Rent is cheap and the street is quiet with very little traffic. Plus, it's a one bedroom and since living alone I've always rented cheap bachelors. Did I appreciate any of this? At first, absolutely, but after a while the cons of the place became more prevalent in my mind than the pros.
But now I love my apartment!
The funny things is, once I showed my friend the place and he liked it, I immediately didn't want to leave it. "What is this I'm feeling?" I asked myself at the time. It seems to be akin to what we do as children when another kid has our toy that we previously didn't really care about. All of a sudden it's the BEST toy in the world and the ONLY one we want to play with.We didn't appreciate it until there was a threat of no longer having it. Is there any kind of evolutionary need for this type of reaction?
I now find myself waking up absolutely in LOVE with my bed and taking note of how cozy and warm I am. I bask in the light that fills my bedroom and stay in bed as long as I can. I will be giving said bed to my nephew when I leave. He will enjoy it too, I know, and I am happy to give it to him. I'm hoping my camper bed will be just as comfortable and I won't freeze in the Nova Scotia Spring!
In the big picture I wonder if this is how I've spent my entire life? There's always something better "out there". Always a bigger adventure, more interesting geography, a more fitting job, a better place to live where I will finally be content. But that cliche saying is true, wherever you go, there you are. And here I go again!
Do you take time to be grateful for what you have? Or do things always seem better in hindsight?
Stories of people full-time RVing, living off-grid or without any money at all show up in my social media feeds and are shared with me quite often. Obviously, this is telling of my interests as these sites are tailored to delivering messages and stories about the topics I've searched for or clicked on. Each time I read or watch a video about a person who has challenged the system and their own survival I get a little pang in my chest. I'm searching for a different way of living but how for out of my comfort zone am I willing to go?
Living without money
In 2000, Daniel Suelo gave away all his worldly possessions, left his
last $30 in a phone booth and wandered into the wilderness of the
American Southwest. This, he says, is when his life began. Although I am not interested in attempting to walk off into the desert and live in a cave myself, I do respect the decision to follow your own beliefs, however extreme they seem. He writes a blog called Zero Currency.
In his words;
"I've been totally without cents since Autumn of 2000 (except for a
couple months in 2001). I don't use or accept money or conscious barter -
don't take food stamps or other government dole. My philosophy is to
use only what is freely given or discarded & what is already present
& already running (whether or not I existed)."
Intriguing to me because I am starting to learn about foraging wild edibles (more on that in a later post).
Then, there's this 69 year old woman, Heidemarie Schwermer. Her story seems a little more accessible as she is still living in society but has found a way to go without money or material possessions. She 'had it all', owning a house and raising children and grand children but had the nagging feeling of unrest and saw the vast inequality of wealth. In 1996 she gave away all her belongings in order to experiment with the idea of living without money. Slowly but surely she has managed to step outside the existing structures and find a new way of living, free of worries and possessions.
Two
years later she gave away all of her belongings in order to make an
experiment where she would live without using money. Slowly but surely
she has managed to step out of the existing structures and find a new
way of living, free of worries and possessions. - See more at:
http://livingwithoutmoney.org/about-the-film/about-heidemarie/#sthash.bD4ZQrdc.dpuf
But this isn't for everyone either. I am not a fan of consumerism but I
do know if everyone decided to try something like this our economy would
collapse. However, I do agree with her that money distracts us from
what's important.
What about those living full-time in vans/motor homes/trailers?
Without Bound: Perspectives on Mobile Living focuses on the "imbalance of freedom versus comfort in
modern society." This is not about homelessness but about a conscious decision to live a mobile life as a way to expand mental capacity over material things. Some are forced into this life due to divorce, financial hardship or a devastating fire but it remains that they chose this way of living over simply renting another apartment or house and filling it with things. This I can relate to.
I can't say as I am setting out to say "down with the man". It's not a
political or social decision to live in my camper, but one of a desire
to leave the rat race and see what I am capable of. A coworker told me
recently that she thinks I'm brave in what I'm doing. I've heard this
before but it never quite sits right with me. There's a large part of me
that thinks those who stick with it, go to work, pay their bills and
earn a retirement are the brave ones. They don't run away from the
routine and structure we have evolved into, instead they face it head
on. In a way I'm the one copping out and running away from going back to
school or getting a "real job" with a potential for retirement with
money, instead of parking my camper in my sister's backyard
and eating grass and dandelions. (She's fully aware that this is my retirement plan, along with my other sister who will also be living in her back 40)
Do you think sticking to the regular routine or selling everything and heading into the unknown is more brave? Maybe they are equally as brave in their own way?
In
1994 she founded the “Give and take central” – Germany’s first exchange
circle. Two years later she gave away all of her belongings in order to
make an experiment where she would live without using money. Slowly but
surely she has managed to step out of the existing structures and find a
new way of living, free of worries and possessions. - See more at:
http://livingwithoutmoney.org/about-the-film/about-heidemarie/#sthash.bD4ZQrdc.dpuf
In
1994 she founded the “Give and take central” – Germany’s first exchange
circle. Two years later she gave away all of her belongings in order to
make an experiment where she would live without using money. Slowly but
surely she has managed to step out of the existing structures and find a
new way of living, free of worries and possessions. - See more at:
http://livingwithoutmoney.org/about-the-film/about-heidemarie/#sthash.bD4ZQrdc.dpuf
In
1994 she founded the “Give and take central” – Germany’s first exchange
circle. Two years later she gave away all of her belongings in order to
make an experiment where she would live without using money. Slowly but
surely she has managed to step out of the existing structures and find a
new way of living, free of worries and possessions. - See more at:
http://livingwithoutmoney.org/about-the-film/about-heidemarie/#sthash.bD4ZQrdc.dpuf
Heidemarie has published the book Das Sterntalerexperiment – mein Leben ohne Geld(“The sterntaler experiment – my life without money”) The book is translated into Italian, Spanish, Japanese and South Korean. She has also written the book WunderWelt ohne Geld. On Heidemarie’s websiteyou can find more information on her thoughts, her life and her experience with living without money. Here you can also download her unpublished bookIn Fülle sein ohne Geld(in German) for free .
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- See more at: http://livingwithoutmoney.org/about-the-film/about-heidemarie/#sthash.bD4ZQrdc.dpuf
Heidemarie has published the book Das Sterntalerexperiment – mein Leben ohne Geld(“The sterntaler experiment – my life without money”) The book is translated into Italian, Spanish, Japanese and South Korean. She has also written the book WunderWelt ohne Geld. On Heidemarie’s websiteyou can find more information on her thoughts, her life and her experience with living without money. Here you can also download her unpublished bookIn Fülle sein ohne Geld(in German) for free .
321229425.6K
Follow us
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- See more at: http://livingwithoutmoney.org/about-the-film/about-heidemarie/#sthash.bD4ZQrdc.dpuf
My apartment is being taken over by a friend, I found a tow vehicle, sold my old car and have slowly started selling my belongings. Things are falling into place but, wow, I am feeling completely ill-prepared.
Why make things so hard?
A good friend of mine asked me the other day why I like to make things more difficult for myself. It was an interesting question since I had just been asking myself the same thing a few days prior. Presently it's all so simple, so routine. I go to work, come home and without thinking I flick the switch for lights and they turn on. I can flush a toilet or have a hot shower because I have indoor plumbing, but I don't ever think about either of these things. I'm guessing I'm not alone.
I vividly remember returning home from my travels in the van and living in a place where all this was available to me again after 5 months of doing without. It felt like pure privilege not to have to think about how I would charge my laptop or where I would go to empty my Campa Potty or have a hot shower. As you can imagine, that feeling left rather quickly as life fell into routine again and the marvels of modern living became banal. Indoor plumbing, electricity, hot water are all luxuries we take for granted in this part of the world, myself included. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, in fact, not having to think about such things allows us more time for other pursuits.
Routine vs the Unknown
I am not a creature of routine. Not because I don't want to be and, quite frankly, I am a bit envious of those who are content with their daily routine. The solo trip in the van really brought out some aspects of myself that I didn't know were there. I am more resourceful and capable of taking care of myself in various situations then I had previously taken credit for (see "what a week" in my Barter Van blog). My point is I get a great sense of satisfaction from having to be more resourceful and love how I am more in tuned with my instincts when I live outside my comfort zone. It's not that I want to make things harder for myself, per se, but I do feel more "alive" and "strong" when faced with the most of basic problems of daily living. I like being challenged and I have yet to be able to find a way to do this while being stationary, working two or three jobs and feeling like I know what each day will bring. The unknown invigorates me, for better or worse.
How are you with routine? Would it be your worst nightmare not to have the comforts of modern life?
